Choosing More of What Matters
What If We Stopped Living by Default?
Most of us don’t consciously choose the lives we end up living. We spend so much of our lives moving from one thing to the next: work, family, errands, appointments, scrolling, shopping, cleaning and planning. One day, we look around and realise that our lives have become very full and busy, but not necessarily full of the things that make us feel most alive. We rarely stop to ask ourselves: Is this actually how I want to spend my life?
Intentional Living Isn’t About Having a Perfect Life
It isn’t about creating another picture-perfect, Instagram-worthy lifestyle. It’s not about waking up at 5am, giving up all of the little treats you enjoy or becoming a minimalist. It’s much simpler than that. It begins with paying attention. Not changing everything, not becoming a different person or trying to ‘become her’, but simply noticing what deserves your time, energy and attention in the life you’re already living.
Intentional Living Isn’t Another Self-Improvement Project
There’s a danger that ‘intentional living’ becomes another form of performance. Beautiful morning routines. Perfectly organised homes. Capsule wardrobes. A beautifully curated Instagram feed. More things we feel we have to be good at. But you can have all of those things and still feel completely disconnected from your life. Intentional living isn’t about making your life look beautiful. It’s about making your life feel like yours.
It’s About Asking Better Questions
Ask yourself: What am I saying yes to that I don’t really want to do? What am I doing simply out of habit? Do I actually enjoy the way I’m spending my time? What makes me feel alive and excited? What gives me peace? Am I spending money on things I truly value? When was the last time I did something simply because I enjoyed it? Asking yourself these honest questions makes intentional living feel less like trying to be ‘perfect’ and more like becoming more connected to yourself and the life you want to create.
Begin With What Matters to You
What are your values? What truly matters to you? Values aren’t just words that we write out in our journals. They become useful when they influence the decisions that we make. Intentional living starts with knowing what matters to you. Ten years ago, success might have meant career progression, earning more money or living in a bigger house. Now, it might mean feeling more energetic and healthier. What are your values in relation to your health? What does freedom mean to you? Do you feel most at peace when you are being creative?
Living intentionally means allowing those values to influence your choices. If creativity matters to me and helps me to relax, perhaps I need to make space for sewing, painting, writing or making things, rather than filling every spare evening with Netflix or scrolling. If connection matters to me, perhaps an hour around a table with friends is more valuable than another hour trying to catch up on emails.
Spend Your Time Like It Matters
Your calendar and your habits often tell the truth about your priorities. We tell ourselves that we value our health, our families, our friendships and our creativity, but then discover that almost every available hour is already taken. Rather than trying to squeeze more into our busy days, intentional living might mean creating more space for the things that matter to us: reading a book before bed, having a coffee with a friend, taking up a forgotten hobby or simply taking the time to make a lovely meal. Most importantly, rest doesn’t have to be earned. It’s an important part of your day.
Buy Less. Choose Better.
The modern world is constantly telling us what we need next. More clothes, more skincare products, another trend, the latest gadget or a new car. Living intentionally means asking yourself: Do I actually want this, or have I simply been ‘influenced’ to believe that I do?
There is something to be said for the way previous generations often bought fewer, better pieces that they genuinely loved and intended to keep. Heirloom pieces were treasured, repaired and handed down. There was an appreciation for the craftsmanship of well-made, quality items. Cooking a healthy, hearty meal from scratch, growing vegetables, sewing clothes or making soft furnishings were all ordinary parts of life for many people. Creating something with your hands can still be a wonderful way to slow down, find peace and reconnect with yourself.
Make Room for Simple Pleasures
Simple pleasures aren’t insignificant. Intentional living isn’t only about removing things; it’s also about noticing the simple pleasures that are already woven into our everyday lives. A walk in the countryside, noticing the beautiful surroundings, the fresh air and the sound of birds. Reading a good book while sitting outside in the sunshine. Music playing while you make a home-cooked meal. A Sunday evening bath followed by getting into fresh, clean bedding. These little moments may seem insignificant, but they are the texture of a life.
Create a Life You Don’t Need to Escape From
Most of us work crazy hours so we can have holidays, save up our money so we can spend it, and try to ‘get through’ Monday to Friday so we can enjoy Saturday. We’re waiting for retirement before we allow ourselves to relax. Waiting until the house decorating is finished. Waiting until we are richer, less busy or have finally reached the next milestone. We can spend so much of our lives waiting for the next chapter that we forget that this is our life too.
Intentional living isn’t about escaping our ordinary lives. It’s about making our ordinary lives feel more like the life we actually want.
After years of being a mother, partner, employee, businesswoman and organiser, who are you beneath all of these roles? What did you love before life became so busy? What did you enjoy making? What made you lose track of time? What parts of yourself have been waiting quietly for your attention?
A Life Chosen, Not Chased
What if you stopped asking, “How can I fit everything in?” and started asking, “What is actually worth making room for?” What if, instead of always waiting for the weekend, the next holiday or the next milestone, we began looking for ways to make our everyday lives matter too?
Intentional living is deciding to make small, thoughtful choices and noticing the beautiful things and little luxuries we already have. It’s choosing what deserves our time and attention, making space for the people and experiences that matter, and allowing ourselves to enjoy the ordinary moments rather than constantly rushing towards the next thing.
Because perhaps a beautiful life isn’t created through one big transformation. Perhaps it is created through all of those little choices and habits that, over time, add up to a life that feels more like your own.